I wanted to die

On multiple occasions I wanted to die

I wanted to feel my body gasp for the last breath

I wanted to give way to peace

and I wanted to let go

It’s been 10 years since the first time I felt the overcoming desire to die

And even now I’m surprised when I see I wrote ‘wanted’

It doesn’t matter who you’re surrounded by

What you spend your time doing

and only where you see your life going

It is not something you can move away from

It’s not something you can think away

When you have the first thought that you should end your life it is something that will eat away at you until you decide to do it or decide this isn’t the end of your story

It take less than a second to act on your decision

And it takes a lifetime to believe that you made the right decision to keep breathing