I wanted to die
On multiple occasions I wanted to die
I wanted to feel my body gasp for the last breath
I wanted to give way to peace
and I wanted to let go
It’s been 10 years since the first time I felt the overcoming desire to die
And even now I’m surprised when I see I wrote ‘wanted’
It doesn’t matter who you’re surrounded by
What you spend your time doing
and only where you see your life going
It is not something you can move away from
It’s not something you can think away
When you have the first thought that you should end your life it is something that will eat away at you until you decide to do it or decide this isn’t the end of your story
It take less than a second to act on your decision
And it takes a lifetime to believe that you made the right decision to keep breathing
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