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The Journey

Admission.

You never wanted to actually admit that I really did love you because you couldn’t stomach the thought of being responsible for my heart. I see that now. But it’s too late. As I spiral out of control & lose who I was & find the darkness of the night.

 

Training.

You trained me well.

Broken like the wild animal I was.

You trained me to love you

to make you happy on your terms.

Yes master

anything for master.

But master’s gone

no where to be found.

What do I do now?

How do I know how to feel without the perfect formula to create a balance.

Master is gone

No where to be found

and Daisy is left

No where to go.

Sunshine.

Just living is not enough.

One must have sunshine

Freedom

& a little flower

Sidewalks.

She walks the sidewalks with confidence.

The wind breathes past & through her

but she doesn’t feel it

She doesn’t feel anything

one

two

three

Count the steps to focus on what’s real

four

five

six

Keep walking

Keep breathing

Don’t let them know you’re just a shell of a woman.

If you keep walking

with you head held high

the illusion will stay pristine.

Don’t let them know.

Soon you’ll walk far away & leave it all behind.

Leaving.

The silence is deafening.

The darkness captures my body.

I lay there & I can’t escape my thoughts.

Your smell is on my sheets–

Your side of the bed is cold–

where’d you go?

You left some time ago but I didn’t notice

You were here but you were gone.

Was I filling a void for you

Were you filling a void for me?

There’s an emptiness…

in my home

in my mind

my body.

You took too much with you when you left.

& I’m no longer here

Let the darkness take me.

I can’t be here anymore

 

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