I wish I could cherish our memories.

That when I lie awake at night I could find the sliver of comfort guaranteed from our many years of happiness.

When I look back now

they have a film.

No longer exuding the warm glow of summer sun on my face.

They’ve turned grey and cold.

tainted by the inevitable ending ruined by your actions.

They send a shiver down my spine.

Were we ever really happy & in love?

Laughing & carefree.

Or were we just waiting for the bubble to burst.

Reality to settle in.

& realize the damage we’ve done to each other.

I wish I could cherish you.

But in the process of using each other to try to save ourselves

you took all I had.