I wish I could cherish our memories.
That when I lie awake at night I could find the sliver of comfort guaranteed from our many years of happiness.
When I look back now
they have a film.
No longer exuding the warm glow of summer sun on my face.
They’ve turned grey and cold.
tainted by the inevitable ending ruined by your actions.
They send a shiver down my spine.
Were we ever really happy & in love?
Laughing & carefree.
Or were we just waiting for the bubble to burst.
Reality to settle in.
& realize the damage we’ve done to each other.
I wish I could cherish you.
But in the process of using each other to try to save ourselves
you took all I had.